Entrepreneur Life

The personal side of starting and running a business.

Month: February 2018

Hi entrepreneurs, how did your work habits change after you had a kid?

on February 21, 2018

When my wife told me she was pregnant I felt immense joy and also some worry over how a kid would impact my work habits. Would I be able to run a successful business while being a good dad? Would I be able to start new businesses and still be a present husband and father? What would I need to change?

These questions weighed heavily on me. I started asking other entrepreneurs these questions and I got some great advice and stories. My son is now 14+ months old and I am feeling confident that I can be a great dad and entrepreneur. Being a parent has definitely changed how I work, and it has had the positive influence of making me more structured, more disciplined, and better at picking the most important items to focus on. I do not pull the late nights that I used too, and my hours are a lot more set now that I have a family.

We asked our community fo entrepreneurs this question, and here are some highlights from their experiences…

Barry had some great advice on not being too hard on yourself because you are not going to be perfect:

Perhaps more important than any of this was understanding that I was going to screw it up. What we were doing was hard and no amount of tech or effort was going to make it easier. It would barely make it possible. My wife and I made time to listen to each other and to talk about our fears and failures in as constructive, blame free ways as we could find. Some days were better than others.

Vinodh at Revmakx talked a lot about the importance of routine. This was something I struggled with as I didn’t set a lot of routine for myself before kids.

Having a routine. I hate routines, to be honest. After my kid was born it wasn’t really practical for me to live without a routine. I was not able to work whenever I want. Just like a business, he needed a lot of attention. First few years, I wasn’t able to do justice and it made me guilty. Once the routine was in, things were a lot better for me, my wife and my kid.

Andrew at eCommerceFuel had a great point about separating your home and work spaces because kids make that a lot more complicated. Having an office with a door is key :).

The biggest thing I changed was making a concerted effort to separate my home and work spaces. Pre kids, I spent a LOT of time working at home and my personal life and work life blended seamlessly. This wasn’t an issue because really love what I do and so spending a lot of my “home” time working was just an extension of what I love.

Once we had kids – and especially once they got to the 1-year old stage – I had to make some changes. I didn’t want to be that Dad who was always on the phone, always saying “one second!” and making my kids feel like they had to fight with technology for my attention.

Read the rest of the great advice we got from entrepreneurs here. And, please add your story if you have a few minutes and can answer one of our outstanding questions :).

Have ever seen therapist? What made you decide to go? Was it helpful?

on February 16, 2018

A key employee quits, a big client delays payment, a bank won’t renew your credit line… running a business is no easy feat. A crisis can pop up at any time, and as the owner, you are ultimately responsible for making sure it is handled. If you are lucky you have a great team who can handle a lot, but at the end of the day, the responsibility is on your shoulders. The ups and downs of entrepreneurship can be brutal, and these are not feelings you can easily share with anyone. Sometimes it is hard to even share those feelings with your spouse if they are also stressed over this new business endeavor.

My Therapy Story

In 2014 I experienced a very tough year, my relationship with business partner fell apart and I was diagnosed with a serious medical problem. I was lucky that I was part of a CEO peer group, they helped me with the crisis in the business and emotional support by just being there for me. I never thought about seeing a therapist, at the time I felt like I was underwater and just fighting to get air. After about nine months my future-wife asked me to see a therapist and I am so grateful she did. The therapist helped me gain perspective and process a lot of emotions that I had swept to the side while I tried to fix the business crisis. You can read my full story and experience with therapy here. I would urge any entrepreneur going through something to find a therapist and make time to sit down with them. I promise it will help!

Have you used a therapist before?

Why did you decide to go?

Was it helpful?

Click here and share your story with our community of entrepreneurs. There is still a stigma around therapy when there shouldn’t be. It is helpful to talk to someone who has no agenda and who you are paying to listen and help you see what you can’t see, or choose not to see. If you are in a bad place feel free to reach out to me too, I am happy to talk and share some stories.

Looking for further reading on this subject?

  • One of the best articles about the crazy ride of starting and running a business is this one at Inc magazine. You have a founder who from the outside looks like the epitome of success, but underneath is struggling with debt, fear of impending failure, and stress. You can feel the tension in his marriage as they find out they are expecting their first child during the middle of booting up this struggling business. A lot of entrepreneurs chime in throughout the article to talk about what they went through at different points in their entrepreneurial journey as well.
  • Ben Hugh has a deeply personal piece called “When Death Feels Like A Good Option“. It doesn’t get more real than that.
  • Stephen Fry’s piece on his struggle after trying to kill himself is also a very good read. With a short amount of words, he tackles the core of some incredibly dark thoughts.

Fantastic podcast on the personal side of being an entrepreneur. ZenFounder!

on February 15, 2018

You can find thousands of podcasts on starting and running a business but very few on what you face on the personal side of things with your spouse, family, and sex life. Luckily there is a great podcast called ZenFounder that deals with these topics!

ZenFounder is hosted by Dr. Sherry Walling, she is a licensed psychologist with a very impressive resume (here). Her husband is an entrepreneur so she knows the life and she does an amazing job bringing forward the hard topics that can be scary to talk about publicly. Her husband joins her on the podcast and the dynamic is fantastic. I’ve learned so much, just yesterday I was listening to episode 152 on how to have hard conversations and came away with two things to try next time my wife and I talk.

What topics does she dig into?

 

I also took part in one of the ZenTribe programs last year. ZenTribe is an 8-week program where you do a weekly video conference led by Sherry plus ~8 other entrepreneurs. Each week has a specific topic and prep to do, and then you talk about what you are going through around that topic. It was a great experience and I highly recommend it. Sherry also has a book coming out called The Entrepreneur’s Guide to Keeping Your S**t Together, I am looking forward to reading it :).

Welcome to Entrepreneur Life!

on February 13, 2018

 Welcome!

 

The site used to be called Entrepreneur Parents, but I morphed it to cover everything on the personal side of entrepreneurship. Why?

 

I don’t think entrepreneurs talk about the personal challenges of starting and running a business enough and I want to bring more of that into the light. I want to talk about how it impacts your marriage, your kids, your finances, your relationships with friends, your mental health, and more.

 

Too many founders think they are alone on their own island and miss the huge community of founders who are ready to help and support them. Just by reading about someone else struggling with something you are struggling with it can help you feel a sense of ease and relief. For more about me and site click here.

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